i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
