if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
