I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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