you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
