I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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