I wanna bring you to show and tell
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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