I only kidnapped one of them. chill
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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