Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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