return my video game
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
