i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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