youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize