My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
