The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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