I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
