im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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