can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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