AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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