Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
