you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
