I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
