Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
