He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
