I am spending my child support on dildos
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I understand Curling. That high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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