You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
third nipple confirmed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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