dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
