Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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