So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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