I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
