gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
