On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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