Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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