hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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