I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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