eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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