Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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