Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
