i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
