some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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