i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
