Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Everything about him screamed your future.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
