they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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