Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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