marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
