i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
