U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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