Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
