Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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