she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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