I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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