whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
