thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
