I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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