they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
