There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Green mimosas i think yes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
