I didn't shave. On purpose
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
