YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
