Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
