Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
