he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize