I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
