the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my liver is dry heaving
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
