So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
