I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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