My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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